I Fainted Last Night

I fainted last night.

I fainted once before back in 1999. Back then I was working as one of the Columbus science museum’s Outreach Demonstrators - more properly called a COSI on Wheels Demonstrator, conveniently called a COW within COSI, the name of the museum. I was giving a presentation at an Akron, Ohio elementary school and staying at a Red Roof Inn. When I awoke that morning I felt a little out of it, but I didn’t think much of it and jumped in the shower. While I was shampooing my hair, I blacked-out, fell through the shower curtain, and hit my chin against the bathroom sink. Besides my cut up chin which needed a few stitches, there were only minor bumps. Lucky, those stitches were on my under chin and the small amount of scarring was barely noticeable. I later decided that fainting episode was because I had the flu.

My fainting last night caused two cuts near my eye and one cut at the top of my nose, 13 stitches in all - cuts that I suspect will leave nice sized scars. I have no idea what did the slashing, but I know I did have the flu as I felt like crap the entire day before. Just before I fainted, I was feeling dizzy and decided that calling the local hospital would be a good idea. Unfortunately for my face, I didn’t think to keep off my feet. I live alone, and last night, when I was running a temperature, nauseous and dizzy, I was pretty scared. The possibility of fainting wasn’t exactly at the top of my mind.

The last thing I remember before blacking out was standing in front of the refrigerator, trying to figure out how to dial (614) 4-HEALTH and why someone would ask a sick, dizzy man who’s about to faint to dial such a cryptic number. When I came to consciousness and saw a pool of blood on the floor, I decided that simply calling 911 would be the best move at this point. Soon enough a two man crew of medics was in my kitchen taking my vitals and cleaning my wounds. A trip to the Ohio State University Emergency Room soon followed.

The lesson here is obvious: don’t stand up when you’re dizzy! Crawl, slither, roll, do whatever you have to, but don’t stand up. You never know what you’ll hit when you faint. I still don’t know what I hit.